Shit Cunt

While ARS'ing all over the interwebzzz, i discovered a new up and coming DJ.

I think everyone should check him out, good stuff.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/DJ-SC/122084827842837?ref=ts

"Im old enough to have pubes"

AND THE WINNER IS:

Fridgy Mcfriggin' Fridge!

With an outstanding 46% of the vote, and 13 votes of 28!

With the poll coming to an end, a new one must be resurrected...

"Its Almost A Full Moon Tonight"

What a fucking good night...a night that can never be relieved, no matter how hard we try.

The night started with the arrival of myself and Jaz as we were greeted by the mischievous face of Danny our main godfather....oh and Eddy was there too. After wasting time and being fools in the room of 1000 slays we moved outside to inspect and set up the "forest party".

With some selected beats from the playlist of Naughto, (who had arrived hastily) we sat back and enjoyed our surroundings, now with our new smiling friends of Mr Kelly and Charizard, who had volunteered their time to be with us to celebrate the holy of all holy bro-fests. As we attempted to set up a potentially great fucking bush fire, we talked of Xbox hopes and dreams but only to be snuffed out by the Godfather himself as the personal safety of his electronic companions was too high...oh, and me and Edvard debated about the fucking fantastic idea of a fucking remote control car in a FPS. Yeah...real cool.

The mighty Sammy "GP" Buchanal arrived just for some quick nips as we discussed world war 3 tactics and world plans as I planned to move to Chatswong so I could work in the Chinese Embassy that IS to be set up....The MP's put in their few words here and there, but they had no fucking idea what was happening as they were fucked out of their head on E and ice; all they could do is smile...but not for long...

As we chatted happily about stuff that could not be comprehended unless under the influence, out of nowhere there was a black and white flash, and then...A WILD NAUGHTO APPEARED!...he was later caught with a master ball and he used his ability of DJ and continued the Tunes pumping. Wild Naughto was able to use his item of Lasers which blew everyone’s mind as the forest glowed with rave patterns....some tripped more than others...ED....

As we argued whether to set out, Sammy decided to chuck a Benny and throw the whole of the fucking Amazon on the fire...which in the process of extracting a chair and stick of some description almost was sacrificed for the greater good...

Finally, after a lot of procrastination and toxic fumes we set out, now as the fellowship of Mogandura, as we had each other’s bow...and axe....and vodka. The godfather of Mogandura...ok by now if you haven’t worked out our fucked adventure now had a Lord of the Rings, Pokémon, and the Godfather Theme as well as every other fucking generic show of our time...none the less...we were assigned characters... (As Jarrod was the one most likely to die/sacrificed for the greater good he was named Boromear). As the godfather had the shittest sense of direction that led us in an octagon, we arrived in a backyard which was sprinted through, then fences were scaled where some of us obtained moral injuries...

We now reached the main road, and at this point our "ed"venture should have been called "Let's all fucking complain for 2 hours". Jarrod harnessed the power of the sword/stick of "spiritual equilibrium"...which Sammy later, not so gracefully...stole.

Our motto as the Pac was STAY OFF THE FUCKING ROAD...which was abided by/not because it annoyed danie- the Godfather. As we carried on along the road we decided on the goal of Cow tipping.

Now for a fact...COWS NEVER FUCKING SLEEP...FOR AN IDEA, I DON'T THINK THEY EVEN HAVE FUCKING EYELIDS, well done Baby Jesus...well done.

Our mission kind of failed, but we were met with another problem...CARS! So hectic. As we wandered around the highway road thing aimlessly, we had our first encounter of the car kind! We all placed our ghillie suits on and blended into our environment. Shit was so chilled, oh except for Naughto, who we discovered was a hard lad and walked on, those lights wouldn't scare that DJ!!

We continue our quest as Jarrod, and rightly named Boromeer, almost dies several times, until he found the one ball to rule them all, one ball to find them...the ORB OF POWA!!!!!!!!!!!!

We kicked the orb of powa until we reached the "short cut"...as described and we climbed under the barbed wire of doom/electric fence as established later. The Black riders were spotted as they made fucking crazy scary sounds. After we had gained the courage to run across this paddock, we met up with hard lad and bee who had found a driveway to enter...as we were to "stay frosty boys!” We wandered up the driveway as it was quite...too quite. Probably because Naughto had gone for a piss, one of 1000's, and that we had lost our torch...THEY FUCKING MAKE NOISE. Anyway we started having scary thoughts of 7 Kill Streak dog packs and killer horses, as well as the stray fucking hectic bullz (.GIF).

As the warriors wonder where the Godfather was taking them, as they continued to check the election results often, (becoming more confusing by the minute)... we realise that like the election, the FUCKING PADDOCK OF DEATH NEVER ENDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! (NOTE to self: more S's needed).

The scent of fresh cattle wafted through the air as we jumped over the creek that only Bear Grylls could have assailed...oh and the ORB is still being kicked to its true destiny.

As we climb under endless barbed wire fences, wondering what the next paddock held. We began to walk close to some cattle; our fear growing with every step due to our drunken hallucinations. Jarrod proved his bravery and ran at the 1000's of Bulls, slaying every single one of them, ending Ess's dreams of becoming the world’s greatest Matador...

But we reached a fence that was not quite right, a fence that could not be climbed...and could not be crawled under...only fucking crazily leaped over by the tall and lanky. The quote being "hold my drink", as Naughto lined and timed his run perfectly leaping over action movie style, to return modestly from the other side to reclaim his victory 2 litre juice bottle.

FINALLY WE REACHED WHAT WE WERE SEARCHING FOR; AFTER HOURS OF WALKING, WE HAD REACHED THE RIVER OF 1000 TRUTHS!!!!!!! The Godfather was right. There truly was a river! As we almost were eaten by quicksand, we started to trek along the "path" as Ed and, to be fair, everyone else began to complain, thus we decided to take a rest.

As we lay on the most mellow spot on the earth at that time, the bro's laid their looking up at the stairs, wondering if we were to be ambushed...or why Peter Jackson had failed us and hadn't killed Jarrod like he was meant to.

After our rest we regained our feet, replenished, and followed the track, calling out bumps and roots in the way... (Didn’t work as everyone tripped because by this stage messages weren't reaching the brain all that fast)...

As we reached the gate of winRAR, with our new found bravery, we began to scare cows, knowing that they were harmless...which they are...such fuckwits.

The godfather took the reign of the pack as we followed him to a destiny that we surely knew was coming...THE ROAD!...oh and as I think about it the orb of truth never was cast into the river of water...must have left it in some paddock. lul.

As the bro-fest continued, our journey subsided, with Jarrod stealing 21 solar lights, and kicking cars to make alarms go off, (Ed yelling from the background "that’s someone's property").

Then we were there, a final sprint, through the bush, past the gully of death and into the camp. The Bro-fest united, and safe again, with only a few scratches and tired eyes. The song of the night was played with the lyrics "all the crazy shit I did tonight, those will be the best memories".

We all follow suit and walked to bed as one after 2.5 hours of walking and almost dying.

My night ended with hearing josh and Sammy spoon...who would have seen that coming.

TEH END BRAH!

The ELECTION:

Below are some of the finest artworks i have seen created on MS paint. They combine qualities that artists like Da Vinci and Matt Damon could never comprehend.

I will set up a new poll and you will be deciding the new prime minster...of fridges. Each of the fridges should be equally judged on their use of skillzzz and creativityz. Once you have made your decision head on over to the poll where YOUR opinion can really matter...well not really, considering their fucking drawings of fridges that at best represent the ability of a 6 year old who was repetitively dropped on its head as a baby.

The prize is yet to be chosen.

NOW, YOU DECIDE, WHO WILL WIN, WHO WILL BE HUMILIATED, AND WHO WILL BE SHUNNED IN SOCIETY FOR THEIR POOR EFFORT!

[P.s. Each of the interior designers identities will be left a secret so your opinions upon each of their shit personalities will not influence your vote]

MAY THE BEST FRIDGE WIN!

1. LG: Life's Gay

2. Hell-Yeah Fridge

3. Monster Fridge

4. Fridgy Mcfriggin' Fridge

The laughing adventures;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

My day started with naughto shiting his pants as aiden came from behind, but everyone should probably be used to this...

The laughs continued to Naught'0's house where aiden continued to fail as he attemped to scan photographs while naughto continued raging....its actually a fact that naughto was born raging and will die raging.

We then continued to the house of happiness as i like to call it ;), where we started to count the amps/speakers/rolLANDS......we stopped after an hour or two because there was too many to count. WE then spent 2 hours dicussing how they needed more speakers...so that they could have more electricity to get more speakers...

After travelling back and forth to dales, and aidens (mums bedroom), we finally stopped for the night at dales to set up the quater of a million speakers. This continued for another 4 hours until the party, where basically we all got really drunk, and aiden failed at doing shots.

After 6 hours of being a tosser, me and aids walked back to his house, pumping the tunes on his lappy. It would have been better with a speaker on a trolly, but we would have got gang raped, Which isn't ok.

When we arrived at his house, where we overhurd a conversation that was comprised of "diddle" and "love". No doubt Joshy attempting to talk dirty. Aiden then fetched a bottle of coke to sober up on, but failed once again as he was being tripped out by the bubbles and successfully put coke everywhere. The mega-obsorbant towel was located and saved the day.

Josh and Aiden then slept in the same bed while i was disgusted about what had happened to the matress i was unfortunatly lying on. As i was texting people to piss both of them off, naughto hit my "piece of shit brick" out of my hands as the glow of it flashed across the room smashing into aidens wall, making a final beep...the only fucking thing it is capable of.

THE END.

P.s. Sorry aiden...i had to pay you out due to "Aiden Feeney because that would be just be paying out aiden

17 minutes ago · · "

Goon sKulls.

Well im certainly feeling fantastic.

Pretty rad night, but this one girl kept trying to steal my goon, it was really hectic, she just couldn't get enough. I think she might be addicted.

For once, I was actually drinking in style, i mean...double blacks brah! shit was chilled...one of my mates suggested that i place my nice drinks into a box/sack of some description because it just didn't suit me... suicide is the only option.

Well I can't be fucked to write anything else because i have nothing else to write about...woo!

Oh yeah, we had approximately 1 trillion speakers, but we haven't finished counting yet. I wish we had more.

Bench-warmers always win Best and Fairest

Dear Mr Exam writer,

You are a fucking faggot bbq hero cunt.

Yours sincerely,

Over-tired Student.

Seriously, the fuck am I to write a 4 page fucking report/essay/short story/novel/magazine article/webpage/speech, on a fucking antique road show faggot company that wishes to take pictures. Oh and then this other fuckstick comes along and is all like, "herp my computer has given itself terminal aids and I don't know what to do", so i have to write another 4 pages on some shit to do with his poorly made hard drive that some asian probably made for a grain of fucking rice.

Like seriously, its just not cricket.

PS. I got new OS in Windows 7 Ultimate thanks to the generous nature of the internet and Jaz Mc Jaz. Thus, I also got a new version of MS Paint! Note the artwork above was a test of my new abilities.

Lessthat4

I FUCKING LOVE SKINS.

Oui Oui, Baguette!

To my Aunty and Uncle,

FUCKING 20 PAGES? Are you fucked, jesus christ what do they expect from us these days.

OK, this is how is goes;

Im sitting in this exam room with a novel in front of me, requiring me to write about every fucking thing that has every happened, and is going to happen, and could of happened if Stalin wasn't such a possessive fucking whore. So hour and a half in and my hand makes like a banana and kills itself. So im sitting there, with one hand, half way though the 600 page biblical metaphor that is the modern history exam paper, about to drown in poorly photoed copied paper, and i though to myself, how the fuck do clocks work?

Next weekend is set to go off is proverbial chain:

We will be graced by two of the greatest DJ's the S.C. has ever seen; DJ 'O'o and....Vee.

'O'o combines the grace of a thousand flaming eagles as he works the crowd into a state of virtual sex, while Vee's essence of coolness and alternative tunes blow the minds of the intoxicated crowd.

It is set to be a night to remember.

Now i shall devote myself to trying to memorise the entire mathematics course over 2 days... which will result in me STILL being fucking shit at math; a battle that has raged from the days of year 8...not "SEVEN!!!".

We hang.

"In order to smash the destructive plots of the imperialists against the dprk and ensure the victory of socialism"...more like in order to smash the destructive dildo's of the imperialist against the dprk arseholes to ensure the victory of homesexuality!

YEAH STUDY!

fuck exams...see you in a week.

brb dying.

Fucking confusion

Just give me a sign.

fuck dicks,

Small secrets and forgotten promises

Nat :3

and in response,

She makes me smile lots.

I'd twist, lick and dunk all over you.

Once upon a time there was this Indian, a crazy Indian.

He traveled all around the world from IGA to ALDI looking for the perfect discount.

During one of his usual travels he encounted special time machine, which he believed was a magical portal to a new, super market with low prices. So he braced himself as he flung himself like a slut to a corner at the time-machine but the most XXXTREME thing happened...A HORSE LOOKING FOR SALT LICK ENTERED THE TIME-MACHINE AT THE SAME TIME AS THE CRAZY INDIAN!

*BLARG* the time machine said as the two hero's were thrown through the soft, comforting fabric of time into a new world; but that wasn't all...the horse and the crazy Indian were now combined as some crazy, super fucked up accident ...they were now... CRAZY HORSE THE INDIAN!

They went to Walmart and streaked all round the world.

THE END.

or is it...

CREDITS

Producer: Me

Writer: Me

Lighting: Me

Dialogue: Me

Idea's: Sam

Sound effects: Me

David productions would like to inform you that this story is copyrighted or some shit.

Step by Step Process.

Step 1:

GO TO:

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/q/queen/bohemian+rhapsody_20112599.html

Copy Lyrics. (ctrl + c)

Step 2:

GO TO:

http://text-to-speech.imtranslator.net/

And Paste Lyrics (ctrl + v)

Step 3:

Get the website to sing it to you

Step 4:

Win

Step 5:

ctrl +alt + del and go into task manager

Step 6:

Go into processes and end Explorer.exe

Step 7:

MOAR WIN!

Princess Nat

Hey sluts,

FUCK! A certain pretty cool friend of mine told be to download a song by aKON; Nosy Neighbor.

Anyway, the song itself is pretty rad, but if you actually listen to the lyrics...this fuck should be arrested for breaking privacy rules or some shit.

My binoculars on, alone, staring out my window, i see the best creation of a women that i ever saw in a long long time, Some say it is wrong...

Say its wrong; your fucking right its WRONG YOU FAGGOT! Who the fuck do you think you are Mr Akon. Your a peverted fuck and i would like you to die.

Anyway, im fucked for idea's so ill just leave this...

:3

AFK

Have you ever wanted something so bad,

but you know you can't have it.

Wordsmith

OH i want to write it but i wont. Anything i really really want to happen seems to alter just enough to not become a reality. I think its a possibility, but i know its not! I know im going to regret writing this because i will blame my failure on it; because if i didn't say it, it would have a greater probability of happening.

When i was talking shit with one of my mates the other day he mentioned "The Secret". Now "The Secret" is basically a scam where the believer buy this DVD etc and it teaches them of how if they believe in the power of positivity and say yes, its going to happen. Crazy stuff brah, but does it really work. I for one, after not being able to sleep one night thought about it. It could. Well, all i do is think negatively and if for once i just stopped being a pussy and said yes, its going to work out for me, and took a stab in the dark...id knife that fucker...

god i hope i have commando [pro] on...

:B

We made it to 11:30

What a night.

All i remember is just being angry. I couldn't understand that someone could fuck this up so bad for my mates who had put so much effort in to make it a good night. White smoke was covering the room as i pulled my friend out who was having an intense cough-rape fit. Being a hero, i decided to go get some water for her, not knowing what the white cloud's of rape were; all i knew that someone was on the ground because of it. It gets a little hazy from here on but all i know is that i was trying to help people, but in reality, i was just probably a hindering their recovery.

How comedy has moved on. These days people find it hilarious to kick holes in walls and fuck shit up; i don't think i'll ever be that cool.

Besides that it was a pretty good night. Note to self; take a break from wine casts.

:W

When a win involves death

OH DEAR GOD.

This was posted on a certain website, and i believe this is the most hectic thing i have seen all day. The reaction which is created is mustard gas, that will, if inhaled, destroy your lungs and can cause death. I know its pretty old but for some reason it blew my mind, ahh!

'Wear Aussie Flag as Cape, Fucken BBQ Hero Cunt'

Hey my name is Ilma,

I just wanted to let you know that everyone is less mature than me; thus making me the greatest person alive. Because i do everything right, i am aloud to give people dirty looks for saying quite normal things that i believe to be immature; because remember, im awesome.

All the teachers love me because i am more mature than them and i teach them everything they know. I have never got a question wrong or lost an argument because im always correct and will destroy you if you argue any other way.

&

Now, who remembers the base system? 1st, 2nd, 3rd and of course home. I love to look back and remember the good times, Oh how we have been corrupted.

Primary School:

1st base: Talking

2nd base: hugging

3rd base: holding hands

4th base: kissing

Highschool:

1st base: Slay

2nd base: Slay

3rd base: Slay

4th base: holding hands

...

Fuck im tired.

:L

Spontaneously Combusting

So just calculated my death... Im pretty happy with that. 81.

YOU will pass away...

Cause: Spontaneous Combustion

Date: December 4th of 2073 at 10:15 pm, at 81 years old.

Thats pretty good. I have so much of my life to go; so many good moments, bad ones as well. But anyway, FUCKING PORTUGAL OUT OF THE WORLD CUP...AND FUCKING U-R-GAY ARE IN!?!?!?! THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO THE WORLD! ahh rage rage rage !

SO KEEN for my mate sammy's party this weekend, should go off the chain doggy dog dog lad son mate aye dog lad. AHH nothing better than having a rave with 150+ of your best mates, gonna be froth! Ill write something good about what happened soon. Not that anyone cares or should may i remind you. FUCK im starting to sound like one of those girls who's all like "omg and i ate cereal today, omfg, im going to put on weight, like omg i handed in an assignment, omg im such a slut".

:K

Written in Rage.

Fuck off. I'm so fucking sick of your shit. Just because it was how it was back in "your" day doesn't mean it is the same now. THINGS HAVE FUCKING CHANGED! Fuck im angry right now; so ignorant of fucking societies changes that everything is how he remembers it; how glorious it once was. Why do you have to fucking take it out on everyone else, just because i don't agree with your opinion and your point of view. Take a hint, not everything you say is golden, as much as you want it to be and believe it is.

FUCK! So Stubborn.

BEC FREEMAN 2.0;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

YO mindless followers,

follow this;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;bitch.

http://death-is-wack.blogspot.com/

Cheers.

Just an average day.

"It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bitches I know, Jessica. She is really damn hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to fuck her. So be it.

I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari’s have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my dick. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my dick. Booya.

Flash forward 10 minutes later. My 30 inch dick is going inside of her, hitting them walls. I’m holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I’m fucking her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says “harder.” V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my dick. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn’t disagree with them.

I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home".

For whats it's worth.

...you should check out and like http://www.facebook.com/pages/Choicez/107294192653460?ref=ts. good stuff peeps!

Anyway today was a certain friend of mines 18th. So we got the lads together and thought, whats a way we can cause a little bit of humiliation for this one individual and create some roflcopters. So we though out of the square and used some hectic formulas like 12v-y+mx2. Anyway we created posters with embarrassing images and placed them all around our school. Oh yeah im a fugitive now, pretty crazy stuff. We continued the day by passing time using glad wrap and the birthday boys car. One of the memorable quotes was "Do you reckon he will know what is underneath", and "Can you guess what it is?". We got his reaction on film.

Happy Birthday Sammy, we love you bro!

FOR THE LOVE OF RAPTOR JESUS, Facebook fights SHOULD NOT BE A FUCKING TOPICAL ISSUE! Fuck me dead what have we become. Oh yeah using the "like" button to cause emotional trauma; lets all just stop being cuntbuckets and move the fuck on. FUCK! Oh and im pretty into everyone saying "wow, did you see that fight last night"...ITS NOT A FUCKING FIGHT! I SAW NO INJURIES! WHATEVER CLASSIFIES IT IS A FIGHT HAS SLIGHT MENTAL RETARDATION! The lives we live, wonder why we don't have a fucking carroll college version of home and away...oh thats right were all shit cunts.

:&

Hero, your nothing.

Future SP;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Listen here cunts fuck,

100 VIEWS;

and your opinions still don't matter.

(LOOK AT ALL THOSE SEMI-COLONS! FUCKING GUARANTEED GOOD BLOG)

[p.s. The picka gets funnier the longer you look at it].

What's all the BUZZ about...

Vuvuzela. SUCK MY DICK.

Anyone been watching the holy grail of football; or the World Cup?

Oh yeah im pretty into "soccer". Anyway one thing has begun to annoy me as well as most of the world who aren't shit enough not to own a television.

FUCKING VUVUZELAS! NOMYGOHD.

What kind of fucking mentally fucked cunt thought of that shitty creation...like come on...it makes 1 frequency...and its a shit one at that...its louder than a large drum kit....and the obnoxious cunts that purchase them seem to be able to blow those fucking giant dildos' for a long god damn time. 90 minutes actually...

I have no idea why they are not banned and every person that owns one is to not gassed.

Not even joking i have a plan to replicate watching a world cup match:

1. Obtain 1 large bee's hive

2. Steal some of their honey and proceed to hit their nest with a bat.

3. Cut 2 eye wholes into the bee's hive to make them more angry.

4. Print a soccer related picture.

5. Place bee hive onto your head and stare at the picture.

There you go...INSTA-WORLD CUP.

JESUS, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US WITH THIS DEVILS TOOL.

(PS. Throwin' a shout out to my peeps' My Wife, Jacki and Aunty Shaz).

For lack a better word...

Life is what is happening when your busy making other plans.

FUCK OATH.

Stop fucking crying about, "omg i just want school to be over with ehh ehh ehh im so fucking important" and that everything great is going to happen when you leave. ITS NOT. School is, im most positivity sure, one if the best times of your life. And your all sitting there QQQing about how great your life is going to be. NOBODY GIVES A TOSS! YOUR LIVING A LIFE NOW, AND YOUR NOT GOING TO START A "NEW" ONE BECAUSE YOU STOP YOUR HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION.

pathetic.

Everything sounds better in Portuguese.

Eu fiz alguma coisa no fim de semana que eu pensei que eu nunca faria. Fiquei muito nervosa.Eu pensei de desculpas, eu não era mais tanta certeza. Ela estava cruzando uma linha imaginária, uma linha que eu tinha baseado alguns dos meus costumes e as decisões anteriores sobre. Uma citação que era muito prevalente foi "foda-se, você sabe". É verdade, nesta vida você não vai criar experiências, se você não dar um salto de fé em primeiro lugar. Se você optar por concentrar em seus medos que você vai ser preso naquele precipício, desejando que você teve.

Lulwut...

Oh and here's this...She was the funniest slut I've ever met...

Bec Freeman

You are my hero, EYE LESS THAN 3 YOU.

I speak the truth my friends. Our picnic shall be one of joy and flannelet rugs with an essence of cane baskets and yum food; (Y) it shall be loish. Oh, and you can't come.

Last night was one of the best nights i have had in a while. I fucking love you guys.

How funny was this blog, probs should have bludgeoned some cunt to death...

NOT IN THE DINER ALF.

Sup cunts, im a fucking winner.

Well 40th post. Who though i would make it. Well not me cause im a shit cunt but anyway lets get a cunt tally happening. Alright.

Well what funny has happened in my life. Well, i spose i could tell you about the time some year 8 cunt got my ball slashed by a slightly turrets teacher but it would end up getting boring and yeah, summing up my ball got fucked over because i had nothing to do with an argument surrounding the dominance of the local school oval. WINRAR!

Everyones seems to be pressuring me to get my P's. You know what. GET FUCKED. I STOMP CUNTS WITH MY BOOTS. Not even joking stop giving a fuck, i don't. Ill get them eventually. Anyway what the fuck does it matter to you. Im not going to waste prestigious petrol on you, look at you, seriously, clean you self up, your embarrassing us all; plus, that girl is so checking me out...

Oh well, sorry this wasn't any good. Wait what do i care, your all cunts anyway.

Where was everyone today...

Hey fags.

Experimental music;

There is such a genre as, Experimental music, this is how i see it -

Instruments:

Hardcore singer mixed with Opera hero - Sounds like Stevie Wonder before he went blind...

iPod on a chain - often used to be smashed against a wall to create smashing sound.

Fully Automatic Nail Gun - Provides a backing track with an essence of danger.

Keyboard - Everyone needs a keyboard, makes shit hectic.

There you have it, the experimental music. Ill tell you one thing, it will sound better than Justin Faggier, oh and also i bet there will be less "baby"s in the lyrics and less pre-pubescent boys attempting to seduce girls that are about 5 years older.

OK, randomly that shitty song my Jason Mrazdaddy came on my iPod and here is the opening line:

"Well you done done me and you bet i felt it".

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!?!?!?!$#$%#!?

I pretty sure this attempted chilla' got raped, and got raped hard, because he felt it...and decided to write a song about it...man...i bet he got a lot of money from it as well.

I think i've stumbled onto the key to success...get raped! Then be sure to write a song about it...

So next time you get raped, get a nice pen and little bit of paper out and start writing ;)

Oh and finally, i almost missed the bus this morning...WOW BET YOU GOT EXCITED THERE...

Baby Grab your Glasses, Its Going to be a Bright Day..

In primary school,

Kindergarten actually,

I wasn't allowed to play kiss and chase,

I wasn't cool enough.

Their opinion mattered.

Yours doesn't.

Faggots Gonna' Fag.

MS PAINT ON YODNM!

My house got rolled.

For about the last 2 days my house hasn't had power. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS LIKE! Its fucking terrible. poor old siolowandarinawonina in the republic of Congo, im giving you props for your shit situation.

On Saturday morning at about 4:30am i was woken by the sound of my windows about to throw in the towel of life. I got up and realised there was a cyclone happening and i was all like....

So anyway, my table tennis table decides to fly awa, so me and my father have to stop it from doing a Merry Poppins and fucking off with its umbrella, fucking non-committing bitch.

When the sun rose we flipped the motherfucker over and that was that. Oh its broken too....

For the rest of the day i complained about not having power, but no one seemed to hear me because the wind is a fucking loud and obnoxious cunt. Then one of the tree's is all like later, so it decides to tilt at a 45' angle for about 3 hours while the only thing holding it is a small concrete path. After we realise that when it falls it could destroy the water tank, releasing 1000L onto the building site on the block below our house shit starts to get hectic. So long story short the tree falls and misses everything that it could possible hit by about 2 centimeters and basically breaks nothing... except the fence...which my father fixed in about 5 minutes. So what im trying to say is if that tree was with Al-Qaeda and was on a suicide mission, it failed severally. On ya!

The End.

Tickle Me Silly Love Biscuit

I'm cool because i can slander people on Facebook.

Snide.

When I Evolve.

Im Sorry.

...for being a supa-cunt to you aye, with that snide shitty status and comments...

Fucking love you man.

You know who you are ;)

AHHH Origin is on currently. NSW are losing. OHHH i can look back upon this and be all like really? They were losing? That must have been an illusion because they end up winning by a massive margin.....ITS VERY LIKELY!

Oh and in funny news, i used a proxy to log on to Facebook at school, and when i got home i had a message left by Facebook that informed me that i had logged on through an American server when i was on the school bus on the daily afternoon trip to my house! FUCK YEAH for password changes! YES.

Ah i have nothing interesting to say except for my throat feels like Vietnam after a rather large Napalm attack which killed a couple of civilians and some Vietcong supplies. Oh it destroyed some crops as well, but not to many, i think it was corn, but im not that sure....

4101.

Hey all,

AH, i should be studying for English but im just resting before the storm i think...

I was reading through my previous blogs and am now hoping people took the time to look at the little things i did to prove a point. If you didn't, makes me still smile so doesn't really matter.

im so tired all the time these days, people get all defensive when i don't entertain them or act stupid, im fucking tired yeah? Just relax and go back to your own shitty issues.

4101 is written on my hand. I have no idea why and no recollection to it getting there. ITS JUST THERE, CHILLIN' WITH ITS LITTLE FULL-STOP. 4101.

Call me Ishmael. Thats not even a good line. Call me 4101; that would have been better. (Oh, and thats how you use a semi-colon [;] in a sentence fags).

Ive decided your a rock, because you act hard, but you get smashed very easily. Unlike me who's a diamond, hardest substance around. FUCK (Y)!!!! I AM AWESOME WITH THE CALLS!

Ok, over this.

:{/

Brutal Screams and Soft Choruses@#%

Here's Johnny,

Well, my previous prediction about somewhat getting an illness was true. In medical terms i was fucked from Friday night to some time yesterday when my body suddenly began to give a toss and raged against my whore of a illness. ME:1 Illness:2

Im coming for your first born child you bastard.

Oh so wise, i shall spill some of my ever growing wisdom onto whoever shall grace their eyes onto their screenz.....

1. ALWAYS replace S's with Z's on the end of wordz; looks supa cool.

2. ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; STOP DOING IT.

Ok paragraph time. I am so sick of these god damn semi-colons that everyone seems to be using in more that moderation. Ok, i used to use like bucketloads, but, that was like when it was in vogue, nevertheless ITS NOT FUCKING CREATIVE.

The more ; you add at the end of blog titles, Facebook statuses, Facebook titles etc, it doesn't make things sound cooler or more alternate...

Also, its grammatically incorrect. This is an actual valid point on why not to use them. You may as well use @, # OR EVEN %, OR you could do all 3, @#% at the end of your fucking creativvve works.

Here's an example of your failure:

Dead Puppies;

Dead Puppies;;

Dead Puppies;;;

Dead Puppies;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

It doesn't matter how many fucking ; you do, the puppies are still fucking dead!

Now your killing puppies, great work;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Shes like forever.

Related :3

:O