Enjoy the brighter side.

Me and myself and some sniper cunt

Well here I am.

Im at schoolies, or what they should called fucking spasticies.

Schoolies ended yesterday. AND I FUCKING KID YOU NOT, EVERY FUCKING ONE IS GONE, EXCEPT FOR SOME FUCKING SNIPER WHO THINKS HES 15TH PRESTIGE OR SOME SHIT.

Like...the other night i could look out this window...and there was everyone, and i mean everyone. Every second person had a case of something in their hands; bliss. Oh and i had my boyzzzz too. Now look at me. Rejected from the only ray of fucking hope that i could ever fucking find in this fucking swamp of a fucking hole that they called the fucking gold coast...AND TURNING TO BLOGGER. This is fucking so homosex. My life could not get any worse...I actually challenge the gold coast and fucking life to make itself worse, really fucking COME AT ME BRO.

Fuck this.

Maybe.

I've really lost the ability to waste time posting.

This might be my last.

Never know.

Love you.

x.

Meeting Ernest.

Same blogs, same selfish and selfless complaining which is read by a total of 6 people, but hey! what a read.

HSC is almost over, and thank fuck for that. If i had to go another fucking homosexual week in my fucking house, without getting drunk...once...im going to cry....a thousand tears of blood or some emo shit like that.

What did I used to write in blogs, fuck...as I remember.

Well, ill write about MC turts. He was quite a mad cunt.

Anyway, I strut out my door of my room and im hit by the sun; the first sun I had seen in about 00=jr0tq32i5r-013i134325 years due to study reasons. Anyway I go to open my gate and there's this little green guy, staring up at me, probably wondering why i'm so white. Anyway this little guy just keeps staring as i do a trippple back-flip due to never seeing a turtle in the wild. So we just stare at each other, for like 30 seconds...and then i was like...wait...what happens if he's lost...or looking for a friend...or a rave!??!?!

So I say to the little dood,

"Yo bruva what you lookin' at fool?"

It turned out he was just searching for the rave he had heard coming from my room. I told him it wasn't anything special, but he insisted he say for at least 2 and a half songs. After taking a shit load of MDMA I don't really remember what happened, except for the turtle and me discussing why the world is so full of hate. As we slowly stopped being ruthless, he gave me his thanks for the rave, and he went on his way.

I never saw him again, but i did put a posted note on his shell which said "eat me".

The moral of the story being that the turtles name was Ernest and his life motto was "Fuck the Gators".

This sums up my hood. Nigger.

(feat. D12)

[Intro]
I told you all motherfuckers I was coming back
What now nigga what now what
Proof the projects nigga

[Chorus (Eminem):]
One shot two shot three shots four shots
All I hear is gunshots this is where the fun stops
Bodies drop hit the floor music's off
Parties stop, everybody hit the door someone's licking shots off

[Verse 1- Bizarre]
You bitches is gone I'm dropped in the club
And I'm tryna run and get my motherfucking gun
(Nigga what about your wife)
Nigga fuck my wife I'm tryna run and save my motherfucking life
Oh shit, the shooter's comin'
Bitches, hollerin niggas is running
People shot all over the floor
And I'm tryna make it to the St. Andrew's door
That's the sound of the glock
Even DJ House fucked around and got shot
I done messed around and forgot my tec
I don't see nobody but Fab Five and Hex

[Verse 2- Kuniva]
(Kuniva you aight)
These niggas is trippin'
(Where's Bizarre at?)
I'm tryna slip through the exit and get to where my car is at
Bitches screaming everywhere and niggas is wildin'
Two minutes ago we was all joking and smiling
This chick is clinging onto me sobbin and sighing
Saying she didn't mean to diss me earlier and she crying
But it's real and it's on and cats is getting killed
So I hugged her and used her body as a human shield
And she got hit now she yelling
(Don't leave me!)
I told her I'd be right back and the dumb bitch believed me
I squeezed through the back door and made my escape
I ran and got my 38 I hope its not to late

[Chorus]

[Verse 3- Swifty]
(Nigga I've been tryna call you all day motherfucker where you at?)
I'm on seven mile what the fuck was that
Damn somebody hit me from the back
(With they car?)
With a gat nigga and my tire is flat
And I just hit a pole, them niggas some hoes
(Is you hit?)
i don't know, but I can tell you what they drove
It was a black Mitsubishi
(Shit thats the clique we beefin with I swear)
Man and I was on my way there
Believe me I'm leaving a carcus today
I'm gonna park my car and walk the rest of the way
I'm in the mood to strut, my AK ain't even tuck
I'm gonna meet you at the club we're gonna fuck these hoes up

[Chorus]

[Verse 4- Eminem]
I've never seen no shit like this in my life before
People are still camped out from the night before
Sleeping outside the door waiting in line
Still tryna get inside the club to see D12 perform
The fire marshalls know, the venue's too small
People are wall to wall three thousand and some odd vans
And some cum wad from out the parking lot
Get into an argument over a parking spot
He decides to pull his gun out and let's a few of 'em off
Missed who he's aiming for six feet away's the door
Into St. Andrew's hall hall now the strays flying all over the place
Sprays one bitch in the face another one of 'em came through the wall
Before anyone could even hear the first shot go off
I'm posted up by the bar having a Mozeltoff
Bullet wizzed right by my ear damn near shot it off
Thank god I'm alive I gotta find Denaun
And where the fuck is Von he usually tucks one on him
Wait a minute I think I just saw Bizarre
Nah I guess not, what the fuck oh my god it was
I never saw him run so fast in my life
Look at him hauling ass I think he left his wife
There she is on the ground being trampled
I go to grab her up by the damn hand and I can't pull her
God damn there just went another damn bullet I'm hit
My vest is barely able to handle it, it's too thin
If I get hit again I can't do it, I scoop Dee
Follow Bizarre's path and ran through it
And made it to the front door and collapsed on the steps
Looked up and I seen Swift shooting it out
But I can't see who he's shooting it out with
But Denaun's right behind him squeezing his four fifth

[Chorus]

[Verse 5- Kon Artis]
It's Friday night came to this bitch right
Big ass to my left and Desert Eagle to my right
I ain't come in this bitch to party I came in this bitch to fight
Although I can't stay here to fight 'cause I'm popping niggas tonight
That's right bitches I'm drunk with revenge
Shot a bouncer in the neck for tryna check when I get in
Swift told me to meet him here so it's clear that this fucker
Shoot out the back of his truck goes up in this motherfucker
So one shot for the money two's to stop the show
Third's for the bartender there's plenty of shots to go
(I just wanna know who's driving a black Mitsubishi)
He tried to run so Proof shot him in the knee with a three piece

The Lovely adventure of a Banana: Part 1-2

"Once upon a time there was a yellow banana, that's me. I walked out of his brick house on my 13th birthday. I was looking around, commenting on the lovely day. A speeding bus then hit me. The yellow content of the banana spatted everywhere. I then regenerated and decided to eat my own head. He then spawned a new head and said, "I am a Banana". I walked back inside his house, and then it collapsed on me. I then regenerated and walked away. I decided to go into town. So i went down to the Train Station. I fell on to the train tracks and got pulverised by the speeding train. I then regenerated again and got on the train. Whilst on the train a retarded guy came up to me and ripped of my arm. He then slowly explained in gibberish his name was Mr Craven (it look him 1 1/2 hours). After he told me his name he started foaming from the mouth. He collapsed in a puddle of white foam. WASTED!!!!!!!

I got off the train and set it alight. I was laughing so hard I fell over and started moving in a circle formation, my leg then fell off, I grew a new leg and walked away. I met a guy named Kevin. Kevin and I went for a walk. He explained how he has a crippling depression. I decided to cheer him up but when I turned around I realised Kevin had committed suicide. WASTED!!!!!

I kicked him a couple of times. I dragged him back up the 55 story building and threw him off for the hell of it. It look like fun so i jumped to. I landed on a person called David Ledger. WASTED!!!

I then looked in the sky and a massive piano fell and crushed me. I crawled away and found a stray dog and healed it back to life. It then randomly changed into a prince with a giant spoon. He said "unreal banana peal", and walked outside and hit his head with the spoon and died. I cried myself to sleep. When I awoke Kevin was standing next to me. He then said, "I eat Golf Balls". He got out a golf ball and ate it. He choked on it. I hit him over the head with a chair. He died. WASTED!!!

I went out side, I looked up in the sky a person was caught in the jet stream. He was ripped apart. "My life is going crazy" I said. I decided to go on a holiday. So I left for the airport. I saw Kevin at the airport he was running to me. A plane drove over him and he was sucked into the turbine. I got on a plane and went on Holiday.

The End....or is it?"

INTERMISSION........................

PART 2 MOTHERFUCKERS!

"As we took off the ground and loud noise sounded from the left turbine. I looked and saw a round shaped object in the turbine. It was Kevin's head. We were slowly falling to the ground. There were only two people on the plane. It was Mr Craven and I. So we pulled our parachutes on and where ready to jump. We opened the plane door and we where sucked out. When Mr Craven pulled him parachute cord his parachute exploded, and he fell to his painful and horrible death. I realised that Mr Craven had picked up the Napalm starter kit, (for children learning to use napalm). I pulled my parachute cord and slowly drifted down to earth.

As I landed I realised I had fallen into a lions den. I looked around there were no lions, except for a giant fuzzy cat with sharp claws and massive teeth. That then led me to think that I was going to die. I tried to carm the lion down. As I went to pat it, it tackled me and destroyed me completely. WASTED!!!!!!!!!

I then regenerated and escaped from the lions's den. I saw a strange looking thing running at me. It was Kevin again. He stoped about 5 meters away from me. His eyes started twitching and his ear fell off. He then exploded. I was driven back by the force of the explosion and I hit a tree. I then stood up and the tree fell on me. I was therefore crushed. WASTED!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I regenerated I found Kevin's head and started playing soccer. I heard noises coming from the bush. I looked and it was a strange looking person. The funny looking person siad her name was Natalie. I then asked if she wanted to play soccer. She replied, "you suck". I then replied "your going to have to die now". Natalie then ran around in circles. I wasn't sure what she was doing, so I hit her over the head with a crowbar. She fell to the ground and started twitching. I laughed and walked away. WASTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I started walking through a thick jungle. I walked out of the jungle and saw a town. I walked into the town and looked for some food. There was a small stall selling strange food. I asked for their nicest food. They gave me a sandwich with beetles and cockroaches in it. I then asked "what the hell is this", they then replied "Kaklasice". I looked at them and then the owner of the shop pulled a gun on me and said eat it. So i ate it. When i fished eating it my stomach exploded. Banana pieces went everywhere. The shop owner then started laughing, and then he fell to the ground and died. WASTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I respawned and walked away. A bunch of bricks fell from the sky and crushed the person next to me.

WASTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Well there's part too for you. Did you see it coming? You can discuss it in the forums!..."did I say forums? I meant Farms!". (C) Tom Allard Co

Everything in the story above was written in year 7 when i attended Penno High with my mate Harry Brown when we were in English, (we told our fat-fuck of a teacher that we were writing a narrative together...this lie got us out of doing so much work in-class). All the gramma and spelling is the same to the original, (I havn't changed one bit). Kevin was some Asian kid with an umbrella that me and Harry didn't like, (he's a bit like "Jasuuuuunnnnnnn" from Carroll). Mr Craven was a giant faggot and I hope someone rapes his face. David Ledger was a nice enough guy, but I just didn't like the fuck one bit. Oh and I can not remember for the life of me who the "Natalie" chick was; probably just pissed me off one day.

I don't know what went wrong in my early years, but it explains why I am how I am.......................a mad cunt.

No joke, I was just thinking to myself that it was a really shit ending and there was no way I would end a story like that....but I found YET ANOTHER PAGE behind part 2! It gets really good.....

HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHDAY REBECCA HAMMOND YOU SEXY BEAST!

A big one tonight I think.

I wasn't able to become a harty' pirate so this is how i think the night will go:

As all the various pirates arrive; some dressed more homosexually than others. Everyone will have a quite talk and giggle about their outfits, because they probably have nothing better to talk about than their current depressed lives.

They will all move their stuff around, looking for the best place to keep their belongings safe; like a mother trying to protect their nests, the party goers will circle their belongings, eyeing off any threat that might try and steal their clothes. Once they have sucessfully secured their equipment they will move down to the liquid filled area where they will engage in conversation until one individual who deems himself the greatest looking because he does a trillion chin ups a day will take his clothes off in order to attract another mate. Others will follow his suit and continue the mating procedure as they frolick in the water, trying to look attractive.

Oh and then everyone will get fucked up and have lots of fun and im not there cause i hate life and i think that i might just go jump of a bridge i want to be there why arnt i ther this is unfair wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfuckingwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Sorry, i got over trying to bullshit, so i'm going to type out this story me and my friend Harry Brown made when we were in year 7. I am not going to change a word, but at the time this was the funniest thing i have ever read/written.

....im fucking bored so im going to do it in a new post.

brb publishing.

This is OUR LAND....TAIPAN!

He walks up to her,

Says what he thinks,

Never got to hear what she thought.

...and that was my dream.

Shits fucked cunts.

The"official" last school day today. Shits so bad. Man, I don't even want it to finish. I'm going to miss just... fucking up; working out how to budge through a lesson; double periods; lunch and recess; mufti; excursions; scabbing money for the canteen; Viva la Stickaaaa; Red-arse; Handball tournaments; finding unblocked websites/games...then being blocked the next day; fights and conflict; unrequited year 12 love and relationships; scandal; bitches and fuckwits; frees; little in jokes that are just so silly that you laugh about for ages...weeks even, and just spending times with mates that i will never forget.

But thats all over now. All those little, small things that just bring happiness into life will be gone, and they won't be coming back. No matter what people say about, "no we will catch up and it will be like normal". Here's a fucking news flash you fucks, it won't!

New lives, new people, new friends, new in-jokes.

No time for the past;

And those left behind.

And not a fuck was given that day

Thought i would come here because no one reads this.

I am now the new Facebook queen.

This must mean that Facebook is a monarchy, and that it is structured in layers of status, ['cuse the pun]; which must mean that there are levels of peasants and lower socially acceptable people who make up the rungs below me.

That's cool. So technically i own Facebook.

Win was created this day.

Here's just some background on my new appointment.

"Although the monarch's powers are vast in theory, they are limited in practice. As a constitutional monarch, the Sovereign acts within the constraints of convention and precedent, almost always exercising the Royal Prerogative on the advice of the Prime Minister and other ministers. The Prime Minister and ministers are, in turn, accountable to the democratically elected House of Commons, and through it, to the people.

The Queen can, in fact, appoint whomever she wants as Prime Minister. In accordance with unwritten constitutional conventions, the Sovereign must appoint the individual most likely to maintain the support of the House of Commons: usually, the leader of the party which has a majority in that House.

The Sovereign appoints and dismisses Cabinet and other ministers on the Prime Minister's advice. Thus, in practice, the Prime Minister, and not the Sovereign, exercises control over the composition of the Cabinet. The monarch may, in theory, unilaterally dismiss a Prime Minister, but convention and precedent bar such an action. The last monarch to unilaterally remove a Prime Minister was William IV, who dismissed Lord Melbourne in 1834.

The Queen also has absolute powers of pardon. This alone is a substantial power, as is the ability to make new nobles and knights. Although they serve no official function these days, many would do just about anything to get a title. Thus, the power to grand honours is a fantastic power. Finally, she is the head of state of the UK, Scottland, Norther Ireland, etc. Trust me, if your face is on coinage, you have influence over a great deal."

Feel free to send any money or gifts to the corner of dostat v prdeli and Du hycklare.

Whale vs. Tiger; Take 1.

Ideas: Mr Ess

The sea was crashing around the boat like a thousand crazy bitches trying to rape Justin Bieber, the waves were like, huge bro! As the boat rocked and raved under the furious force of the waves, the Sumatran tiger's cage slipped from its inadequate location, and was launched into the sea disappearing for ever...

But this is not then end of our story,

The Tiger found its flippers and used them to get down. As the king of the animal kingdom frolicked in the ocean, the queen of the sea, the Blue Whale saw him in her turf, and decided to get up in his grills.

The trash talk began; the expletives were flying as fast as the storm around them. They swam in a circle formation, not losing eye contact of each other, wondering who was going to make the first move, who was going to start this encounter to end all encounters;

But as the Tiger charged up his lazer beams, the Nazi squadron who had been inspecting the confrontation intervened;

As the Tiger and the Whale were locked in constant state of Naughto rage, they were throw by this new threat...!

As the Tiger attempted to break left, and the Whale right, a special extra holocaustal Nazi net sprung upon them, trapping them like a large mammal and terrestrial cat in a barrel shaped like a net. They were stuck together, but for better or worse, they were going to fight it out...

As the Whale and the Tiger were hoisted into the air by the net, they continued their passionate hatred, not letting each other have a moment of peace. As the Nazi's flew over the Bermuda Triangle they reached a hight were oxygen became scarce, and death became plentiful.

Then all of a sudden, the net was released and the Whale and Tiger were locked in a constant free-fall travelling at equal speeds.

They realised that it was now or ever, only one of them would make it to the ground alive.

And so the battle began...

03-09-10.

As I was procrastinating writing this fucking rank essay, I began to wander and search for some filthy beats, and I stumbled across this one comment on a dubstep complication, and no fucking joke it said this:

"This beat is filthy-er than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring".

I kid you fucking not. That, pretty much is, the most fucked, and filthy thing I have ever read.

The beat was pretty fucking filthy, but seriously, who ever wrote that must have been like sexually assaulted as a child, probably twice...and he liked it.

Anyway, your all filthy cunts.

Filthy count: 6. Almost as filthy (7) as KMGM...BGC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>3.

Shit Cunt

While ARS'ing all over the interwebzzz, i discovered a new up and coming DJ.

I think everyone should check him out, good stuff.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/DJ-SC/122084827842837?ref=ts

"Im old enough to have pubes"

AND THE WINNER IS:

Fridgy Mcfriggin' Fridge!

With an outstanding 46% of the vote, and 13 votes of 28!

With the poll coming to an end, a new one must be resurrected...

"Its Almost A Full Moon Tonight"

What a fucking good night...a night that can never be relieved, no matter how hard we try.

The night started with the arrival of myself and Jaz as we were greeted by the mischievous face of Danny our main godfather....oh and Eddy was there too. After wasting time and being fools in the room of 1000 slays we moved outside to inspect and set up the "forest party".

With some selected beats from the playlist of Naughto, (who had arrived hastily) we sat back and enjoyed our surroundings, now with our new smiling friends of Mr Kelly and Charizard, who had volunteered their time to be with us to celebrate the holy of all holy bro-fests. As we attempted to set up a potentially great fucking bush fire, we talked of Xbox hopes and dreams but only to be snuffed out by the Godfather himself as the personal safety of his electronic companions was too high...oh, and me and Edvard debated about the fucking fantastic idea of a fucking remote control car in a FPS. Yeah...real cool.

The mighty Sammy "GP" Buchanal arrived just for some quick nips as we discussed world war 3 tactics and world plans as I planned to move to Chatswong so I could work in the Chinese Embassy that IS to be set up....The MP's put in their few words here and there, but they had no fucking idea what was happening as they were fucked out of their head on E and ice; all they could do is smile...but not for long...

As we chatted happily about stuff that could not be comprehended unless under the influence, out of nowhere there was a black and white flash, and then...A WILD NAUGHTO APPEARED!...he was later caught with a master ball and he used his ability of DJ and continued the Tunes pumping. Wild Naughto was able to use his item of Lasers which blew everyone’s mind as the forest glowed with rave patterns....some tripped more than others...ED....

As we argued whether to set out, Sammy decided to chuck a Benny and throw the whole of the fucking Amazon on the fire...which in the process of extracting a chair and stick of some description almost was sacrificed for the greater good...

Finally, after a lot of procrastination and toxic fumes we set out, now as the fellowship of Mogandura, as we had each other’s bow...and axe....and vodka. The godfather of Mogandura...ok by now if you haven’t worked out our fucked adventure now had a Lord of the Rings, Pokémon, and the Godfather Theme as well as every other fucking generic show of our time...none the less...we were assigned characters... (As Jarrod was the one most likely to die/sacrificed for the greater good he was named Boromear). As the godfather had the shittest sense of direction that led us in an octagon, we arrived in a backyard which was sprinted through, then fences were scaled where some of us obtained moral injuries...

We now reached the main road, and at this point our "ed"venture should have been called "Let's all fucking complain for 2 hours". Jarrod harnessed the power of the sword/stick of "spiritual equilibrium"...which Sammy later, not so gracefully...stole.

Our motto as the Pac was STAY OFF THE FUCKING ROAD...which was abided by/not because it annoyed danie- the Godfather. As we carried on along the road we decided on the goal of Cow tipping.

Now for a fact...COWS NEVER FUCKING SLEEP...FOR AN IDEA, I DON'T THINK THEY EVEN HAVE FUCKING EYELIDS, well done Baby Jesus...well done.

Our mission kind of failed, but we were met with another problem...CARS! So hectic. As we wandered around the highway road thing aimlessly, we had our first encounter of the car kind! We all placed our ghillie suits on and blended into our environment. Shit was so chilled, oh except for Naughto, who we discovered was a hard lad and walked on, those lights wouldn't scare that DJ!!

We continue our quest as Jarrod, and rightly named Boromeer, almost dies several times, until he found the one ball to rule them all, one ball to find them...the ORB OF POWA!!!!!!!!!!!!

We kicked the orb of powa until we reached the "short cut"...as described and we climbed under the barbed wire of doom/electric fence as established later. The Black riders were spotted as they made fucking crazy scary sounds. After we had gained the courage to run across this paddock, we met up with hard lad and bee who had found a driveway to enter...as we were to "stay frosty boys!” We wandered up the driveway as it was quite...too quite. Probably because Naughto had gone for a piss, one of 1000's, and that we had lost our torch...THEY FUCKING MAKE NOISE. Anyway we started having scary thoughts of 7 Kill Streak dog packs and killer horses, as well as the stray fucking hectic bullz (.GIF).

As the warriors wonder where the Godfather was taking them, as they continued to check the election results often, (becoming more confusing by the minute)... we realise that like the election, the FUCKING PADDOCK OF DEATH NEVER ENDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! (NOTE to self: more S's needed).

The scent of fresh cattle wafted through the air as we jumped over the creek that only Bear Grylls could have assailed...oh and the ORB is still being kicked to its true destiny.

As we climb under endless barbed wire fences, wondering what the next paddock held. We began to walk close to some cattle; our fear growing with every step due to our drunken hallucinations. Jarrod proved his bravery and ran at the 1000's of Bulls, slaying every single one of them, ending Ess's dreams of becoming the world’s greatest Matador...

But we reached a fence that was not quite right, a fence that could not be climbed...and could not be crawled under...only fucking crazily leaped over by the tall and lanky. The quote being "hold my drink", as Naughto lined and timed his run perfectly leaping over action movie style, to return modestly from the other side to reclaim his victory 2 litre juice bottle.

FINALLY WE REACHED WHAT WE WERE SEARCHING FOR; AFTER HOURS OF WALKING, WE HAD REACHED THE RIVER OF 1000 TRUTHS!!!!!!! The Godfather was right. There truly was a river! As we almost were eaten by quicksand, we started to trek along the "path" as Ed and, to be fair, everyone else began to complain, thus we decided to take a rest.

As we lay on the most mellow spot on the earth at that time, the bro's laid their looking up at the stairs, wondering if we were to be ambushed...or why Peter Jackson had failed us and hadn't killed Jarrod like he was meant to.

After our rest we regained our feet, replenished, and followed the track, calling out bumps and roots in the way... (Didn’t work as everyone tripped because by this stage messages weren't reaching the brain all that fast)...

As we reached the gate of winRAR, with our new found bravery, we began to scare cows, knowing that they were harmless...which they are...such fuckwits.

The godfather took the reign of the pack as we followed him to a destiny that we surely knew was coming...THE ROAD!...oh and as I think about it the orb of truth never was cast into the river of water...must have left it in some paddock. lul.

As the bro-fest continued, our journey subsided, with Jarrod stealing 21 solar lights, and kicking cars to make alarms go off, (Ed yelling from the background "that’s someone's property").

Then we were there, a final sprint, through the bush, past the gully of death and into the camp. The Bro-fest united, and safe again, with only a few scratches and tired eyes. The song of the night was played with the lyrics "all the crazy shit I did tonight, those will be the best memories".

We all follow suit and walked to bed as one after 2.5 hours of walking and almost dying.

My night ended with hearing josh and Sammy spoon...who would have seen that coming.

TEH END BRAH!

The ELECTION:

Below are some of the finest artworks i have seen created on MS paint. They combine qualities that artists like Da Vinci and Matt Damon could never comprehend.

I will set up a new poll and you will be deciding the new prime minster...of fridges. Each of the fridges should be equally judged on their use of skillzzz and creativityz. Once you have made your decision head on over to the poll where YOUR opinion can really matter...well not really, considering their fucking drawings of fridges that at best represent the ability of a 6 year old who was repetitively dropped on its head as a baby.

The prize is yet to be chosen.

NOW, YOU DECIDE, WHO WILL WIN, WHO WILL BE HUMILIATED, AND WHO WILL BE SHUNNED IN SOCIETY FOR THEIR POOR EFFORT!

[P.s. Each of the interior designers identities will be left a secret so your opinions upon each of their shit personalities will not influence your vote]

MAY THE BEST FRIDGE WIN!

1. LG: Life's Gay

2. Hell-Yeah Fridge

3. Monster Fridge

4. Fridgy Mcfriggin' Fridge

The laughing adventures;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

My day started with naughto shiting his pants as aiden came from behind, but everyone should probably be used to this...

The laughs continued to Naught'0's house where aiden continued to fail as he attemped to scan photographs while naughto continued raging....its actually a fact that naughto was born raging and will die raging.

We then continued to the house of happiness as i like to call it ;), where we started to count the amps/speakers/rolLANDS......we stopped after an hour or two because there was too many to count. WE then spent 2 hours dicussing how they needed more speakers...so that they could have more electricity to get more speakers...

After travelling back and forth to dales, and aidens (mums bedroom), we finally stopped for the night at dales to set up the quater of a million speakers. This continued for another 4 hours until the party, where basically we all got really drunk, and aiden failed at doing shots.

After 6 hours of being a tosser, me and aids walked back to his house, pumping the tunes on his lappy. It would have been better with a speaker on a trolly, but we would have got gang raped, Which isn't ok.

When we arrived at his house, where we overhurd a conversation that was comprised of "diddle" and "love". No doubt Joshy attempting to talk dirty. Aiden then fetched a bottle of coke to sober up on, but failed once again as he was being tripped out by the bubbles and successfully put coke everywhere. The mega-obsorbant towel was located and saved the day.

Josh and Aiden then slept in the same bed while i was disgusted about what had happened to the matress i was unfortunatly lying on. As i was texting people to piss both of them off, naughto hit my "piece of shit brick" out of my hands as the glow of it flashed across the room smashing into aidens wall, making a final beep...the only fucking thing it is capable of.

THE END.

P.s. Sorry aiden...i had to pay you out due to "Aiden Feeney because that would be just be paying out aiden

17 minutes ago · · "

Goon sKulls.

Well im certainly feeling fantastic.

Pretty rad night, but this one girl kept trying to steal my goon, it was really hectic, she just couldn't get enough. I think she might be addicted.

For once, I was actually drinking in style, i mean...double blacks brah! shit was chilled...one of my mates suggested that i place my nice drinks into a box/sack of some description because it just didn't suit me... suicide is the only option.

Well I can't be fucked to write anything else because i have nothing else to write about...woo!

Oh yeah, we had approximately 1 trillion speakers, but we haven't finished counting yet. I wish we had more.

Bench-warmers always win Best and Fairest

Dear Mr Exam writer,

You are a fucking faggot bbq hero cunt.

Yours sincerely,

Over-tired Student.

Seriously, the fuck am I to write a 4 page fucking report/essay/short story/novel/magazine article/webpage/speech, on a fucking antique road show faggot company that wishes to take pictures. Oh and then this other fuckstick comes along and is all like, "herp my computer has given itself terminal aids and I don't know what to do", so i have to write another 4 pages on some shit to do with his poorly made hard drive that some asian probably made for a grain of fucking rice.

Like seriously, its just not cricket.

PS. I got new OS in Windows 7 Ultimate thanks to the generous nature of the internet and Jaz Mc Jaz. Thus, I also got a new version of MS Paint! Note the artwork above was a test of my new abilities.

Lessthat4

I FUCKING LOVE SKINS.

Oui Oui, Baguette!

To my Aunty and Uncle,

FUCKING 20 PAGES? Are you fucked, jesus christ what do they expect from us these days.

OK, this is how is goes;

Im sitting in this exam room with a novel in front of me, requiring me to write about every fucking thing that has every happened, and is going to happen, and could of happened if Stalin wasn't such a possessive fucking whore. So hour and a half in and my hand makes like a banana and kills itself. So im sitting there, with one hand, half way though the 600 page biblical metaphor that is the modern history exam paper, about to drown in poorly photoed copied paper, and i though to myself, how the fuck do clocks work?

Next weekend is set to go off is proverbial chain:

We will be graced by two of the greatest DJ's the S.C. has ever seen; DJ 'O'o and....Vee.

'O'o combines the grace of a thousand flaming eagles as he works the crowd into a state of virtual sex, while Vee's essence of coolness and alternative tunes blow the minds of the intoxicated crowd.

It is set to be a night to remember.

Now i shall devote myself to trying to memorise the entire mathematics course over 2 days... which will result in me STILL being fucking shit at math; a battle that has raged from the days of year 8...not "SEVEN!!!".

We hang.

"In order to smash the destructive plots of the imperialists against the dprk and ensure the victory of socialism"...more like in order to smash the destructive dildo's of the imperialist against the dprk arseholes to ensure the victory of homesexuality!

YEAH STUDY!

fuck exams...see you in a week.

brb dying.

Fucking confusion

Just give me a sign.

fuck dicks,

Small secrets and forgotten promises

Nat :3

and in response,

She makes me smile lots.

I'd twist, lick and dunk all over you.

Once upon a time there was this Indian, a crazy Indian.

He traveled all around the world from IGA to ALDI looking for the perfect discount.

During one of his usual travels he encounted special time machine, which he believed was a magical portal to a new, super market with low prices. So he braced himself as he flung himself like a slut to a corner at the time-machine but the most XXXTREME thing happened...A HORSE LOOKING FOR SALT LICK ENTERED THE TIME-MACHINE AT THE SAME TIME AS THE CRAZY INDIAN!

*BLARG* the time machine said as the two hero's were thrown through the soft, comforting fabric of time into a new world; but that wasn't all...the horse and the crazy Indian were now combined as some crazy, super fucked up accident ...they were now... CRAZY HORSE THE INDIAN!

They went to Walmart and streaked all round the world.

THE END.

or is it...

CREDITS

Producer: Me

Writer: Me

Lighting: Me

Dialogue: Me

Idea's: Sam

Sound effects: Me

David productions would like to inform you that this story is copyrighted or some shit.

Step by Step Process.

Step 1:

GO TO:

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/q/queen/bohemian+rhapsody_20112599.html

Copy Lyrics. (ctrl + c)

Step 2:

GO TO:

http://text-to-speech.imtranslator.net/

And Paste Lyrics (ctrl + v)

Step 3:

Get the website to sing it to you

Step 4:

Win

Step 5:

ctrl +alt + del and go into task manager

Step 6:

Go into processes and end Explorer.exe

Step 7:

MOAR WIN!

Princess Nat

Hey sluts,

FUCK! A certain pretty cool friend of mine told be to download a song by aKON; Nosy Neighbor.

Anyway, the song itself is pretty rad, but if you actually listen to the lyrics...this fuck should be arrested for breaking privacy rules or some shit.

My binoculars on, alone, staring out my window, i see the best creation of a women that i ever saw in a long long time, Some say it is wrong...

Say its wrong; your fucking right its WRONG YOU FAGGOT! Who the fuck do you think you are Mr Akon. Your a peverted fuck and i would like you to die.

Anyway, im fucked for idea's so ill just leave this...

:3

AFK

Have you ever wanted something so bad,

but you know you can't have it.

Wordsmith

OH i want to write it but i wont. Anything i really really want to happen seems to alter just enough to not become a reality. I think its a possibility, but i know its not! I know im going to regret writing this because i will blame my failure on it; because if i didn't say it, it would have a greater probability of happening.

When i was talking shit with one of my mates the other day he mentioned "The Secret". Now "The Secret" is basically a scam where the believer buy this DVD etc and it teaches them of how if they believe in the power of positivity and say yes, its going to happen. Crazy stuff brah, but does it really work. I for one, after not being able to sleep one night thought about it. It could. Well, all i do is think negatively and if for once i just stopped being a pussy and said yes, its going to work out for me, and took a stab in the dark...id knife that fucker...

god i hope i have commando [pro] on...

:B

We made it to 11:30

What a night.

All i remember is just being angry. I couldn't understand that someone could fuck this up so bad for my mates who had put so much effort in to make it a good night. White smoke was covering the room as i pulled my friend out who was having an intense cough-rape fit. Being a hero, i decided to go get some water for her, not knowing what the white cloud's of rape were; all i knew that someone was on the ground because of it. It gets a little hazy from here on but all i know is that i was trying to help people, but in reality, i was just probably a hindering their recovery.

How comedy has moved on. These days people find it hilarious to kick holes in walls and fuck shit up; i don't think i'll ever be that cool.

Besides that it was a pretty good night. Note to self; take a break from wine casts.

:W

When a win involves death

OH DEAR GOD.

This was posted on a certain website, and i believe this is the most hectic thing i have seen all day. The reaction which is created is mustard gas, that will, if inhaled, destroy your lungs and can cause death. I know its pretty old but for some reason it blew my mind, ahh!

'Wear Aussie Flag as Cape, Fucken BBQ Hero Cunt'

Hey my name is Ilma,

I just wanted to let you know that everyone is less mature than me; thus making me the greatest person alive. Because i do everything right, i am aloud to give people dirty looks for saying quite normal things that i believe to be immature; because remember, im awesome.

All the teachers love me because i am more mature than them and i teach them everything they know. I have never got a question wrong or lost an argument because im always correct and will destroy you if you argue any other way.

&

Now, who remembers the base system? 1st, 2nd, 3rd and of course home. I love to look back and remember the good times, Oh how we have been corrupted.

Primary School:

1st base: Talking

2nd base: hugging

3rd base: holding hands

4th base: kissing

Highschool:

1st base: Slay

2nd base: Slay

3rd base: Slay

4th base: holding hands

...

Fuck im tired.

:L

Spontaneously Combusting

So just calculated my death... Im pretty happy with that. 81.

YOU will pass away...

Cause: Spontaneous Combustion

Date: December 4th of 2073 at 10:15 pm, at 81 years old.

Thats pretty good. I have so much of my life to go; so many good moments, bad ones as well. But anyway, FUCKING PORTUGAL OUT OF THE WORLD CUP...AND FUCKING U-R-GAY ARE IN!?!?!?! THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO THE WORLD! ahh rage rage rage !

SO KEEN for my mate sammy's party this weekend, should go off the chain doggy dog dog lad son mate aye dog lad. AHH nothing better than having a rave with 150+ of your best mates, gonna be froth! Ill write something good about what happened soon. Not that anyone cares or should may i remind you. FUCK im starting to sound like one of those girls who's all like "omg and i ate cereal today, omfg, im going to put on weight, like omg i handed in an assignment, omg im such a slut".

:K

Written in Rage.

Fuck off. I'm so fucking sick of your shit. Just because it was how it was back in "your" day doesn't mean it is the same now. THINGS HAVE FUCKING CHANGED! Fuck im angry right now; so ignorant of fucking societies changes that everything is how he remembers it; how glorious it once was. Why do you have to fucking take it out on everyone else, just because i don't agree with your opinion and your point of view. Take a hint, not everything you say is golden, as much as you want it to be and believe it is.

FUCK! So Stubborn.

BEC FREEMAN 2.0;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

YO mindless followers,

follow this;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;bitch.

http://death-is-wack.blogspot.com/

Cheers.

Just an average day.

"It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bitches I know, Jessica. She is really damn hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to fuck her. So be it.

I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari’s have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my dick. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my dick. Booya.

Flash forward 10 minutes later. My 30 inch dick is going inside of her, hitting them walls. I’m holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I’m fucking her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says “harder.” V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my dick. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn’t disagree with them.

I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home".

For whats it's worth.

...you should check out and like http://www.facebook.com/pages/Choicez/107294192653460?ref=ts. good stuff peeps!

Anyway today was a certain friend of mines 18th. So we got the lads together and thought, whats a way we can cause a little bit of humiliation for this one individual and create some roflcopters. So we though out of the square and used some hectic formulas like 12v-y+mx2. Anyway we created posters with embarrassing images and placed them all around our school. Oh yeah im a fugitive now, pretty crazy stuff. We continued the day by passing time using glad wrap and the birthday boys car. One of the memorable quotes was "Do you reckon he will know what is underneath", and "Can you guess what it is?". We got his reaction on film.

Happy Birthday Sammy, we love you bro!

FOR THE LOVE OF RAPTOR JESUS, Facebook fights SHOULD NOT BE A FUCKING TOPICAL ISSUE! Fuck me dead what have we become. Oh yeah using the "like" button to cause emotional trauma; lets all just stop being cuntbuckets and move the fuck on. FUCK! Oh and im pretty into everyone saying "wow, did you see that fight last night"...ITS NOT A FUCKING FIGHT! I SAW NO INJURIES! WHATEVER CLASSIFIES IT IS A FIGHT HAS SLIGHT MENTAL RETARDATION! The lives we live, wonder why we don't have a fucking carroll college version of home and away...oh thats right were all shit cunts.

:&

Hero, your nothing.

Future SP;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Listen here cunts fuck,

100 VIEWS;

and your opinions still don't matter.

(LOOK AT ALL THOSE SEMI-COLONS! FUCKING GUARANTEED GOOD BLOG)

[p.s. The picka gets funnier the longer you look at it].