MS PAINT ON YODNM!

My house got rolled.

For about the last 2 days my house hasn't had power. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS LIKE! Its fucking terrible. poor old siolowandarinawonina in the republic of Congo, im giving you props for your shit situation.

On Saturday morning at about 4:30am i was woken by the sound of my windows about to throw in the towel of life. I got up and realised there was a cyclone happening and i was all like....

So anyway, my table tennis table decides to fly awa, so me and my father have to stop it from doing a Merry Poppins and fucking off with its umbrella, fucking non-committing bitch.

When the sun rose we flipped the motherfucker over and that was that. Oh its broken too....

For the rest of the day i complained about not having power, but no one seemed to hear me because the wind is a fucking loud and obnoxious cunt. Then one of the tree's is all like later, so it decides to tilt at a 45' angle for about 3 hours while the only thing holding it is a small concrete path. After we realise that when it falls it could destroy the water tank, releasing 1000L onto the building site on the block below our house shit starts to get hectic. So long story short the tree falls and misses everything that it could possible hit by about 2 centimeters and basically breaks nothing... except the fence...which my father fixed in about 5 minutes. So what im trying to say is if that tree was with Al-Qaeda and was on a suicide mission, it failed severally. On ya!

The End.

Tickle Me Silly Love Biscuit

I'm cool because i can slander people on Facebook.

Snide.

When I Evolve.

Im Sorry.

...for being a supa-cunt to you aye, with that snide shitty status and comments...

Fucking love you man.

You know who you are ;)

AHHH Origin is on currently. NSW are losing. OHHH i can look back upon this and be all like really? They were losing? That must have been an illusion because they end up winning by a massive margin.....ITS VERY LIKELY!

Oh and in funny news, i used a proxy to log on to Facebook at school, and when i got home i had a message left by Facebook that informed me that i had logged on through an American server when i was on the school bus on the daily afternoon trip to my house! FUCK YEAH for password changes! YES.

Ah i have nothing interesting to say except for my throat feels like Vietnam after a rather large Napalm attack which killed a couple of civilians and some Vietcong supplies. Oh it destroyed some crops as well, but not to many, i think it was corn, but im not that sure....

4101.

Hey all,

AH, i should be studying for English but im just resting before the storm i think...

I was reading through my previous blogs and am now hoping people took the time to look at the little things i did to prove a point. If you didn't, makes me still smile so doesn't really matter.

im so tired all the time these days, people get all defensive when i don't entertain them or act stupid, im fucking tired yeah? Just relax and go back to your own shitty issues.

4101 is written on my hand. I have no idea why and no recollection to it getting there. ITS JUST THERE, CHILLIN' WITH ITS LITTLE FULL-STOP. 4101.

Call me Ishmael. Thats not even a good line. Call me 4101; that would have been better. (Oh, and thats how you use a semi-colon [;] in a sentence fags).

Ive decided your a rock, because you act hard, but you get smashed very easily. Unlike me who's a diamond, hardest substance around. FUCK (Y)!!!! I AM AWESOME WITH THE CALLS!

Ok, over this.

:{/

Brutal Screams and Soft Choruses@#%

Here's Johnny,

Well, my previous prediction about somewhat getting an illness was true. In medical terms i was fucked from Friday night to some time yesterday when my body suddenly began to give a toss and raged against my whore of a illness. ME:1 Illness:2

Im coming for your first born child you bastard.

Oh so wise, i shall spill some of my ever growing wisdom onto whoever shall grace their eyes onto their screenz.....

1. ALWAYS replace S's with Z's on the end of wordz; looks supa cool.

2. ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; STOP DOING IT.

Ok paragraph time. I am so sick of these god damn semi-colons that everyone seems to be using in more that moderation. Ok, i used to use like bucketloads, but, that was like when it was in vogue, nevertheless ITS NOT FUCKING CREATIVE.

The more ; you add at the end of blog titles, Facebook statuses, Facebook titles etc, it doesn't make things sound cooler or more alternate...

Also, its grammatically incorrect. This is an actual valid point on why not to use them. You may as well use @, # OR EVEN %, OR you could do all 3, @#% at the end of your fucking creativvve works.

Here's an example of your failure:

Dead Puppies;

Dead Puppies;;

Dead Puppies;;;

Dead Puppies;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

It doesn't matter how many fucking ; you do, the puppies are still fucking dead!

Now your killing puppies, great work;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Shes like forever.

Related :3

:O

Not even close to being fiction.

ANNOUNCEMENT: 4 week in a row that i haven't to a party...

THIS IS A JOKE!

Im so cold right now, like shaking cold. I think im getting a cold as well. Hey, with a cold, i wonder why they called it a cold; was it because it purely makes you cold, or does it stand as a metaphor for the reactions other people give you when they find out you have a cold.

Holy shit gymnasts on the TV, there hectic.

Everyones so angry these days, or sad, or have rage mode turned on

Something made me angry today that probably shouldn't have. I just kinda...got jealous, and reacted like a knob. Strange.

Rage Mode

[on]-off

Interesting fact 1:

Your not cool for smoking.

For your next instalment of Interesting fact see my next blog. ! WHAT WILL IT HOLD!

ahhhh my head feels like its going to explode.

Picka Related.

This guys head should explode. Do the world a a lot of good.

"There's a storm coming"...

Yeah i have Myspace!

You better watch the fuck out Norton, because Samuel "The Slayer" Buchanan is coming for you. Oh you think we don't know your dirty plan; but we do.

We have a secret weapon.

A bath of unlimited knowledge. YES, you know the one we speak of, he has returned, but only with more wisdom, we call it the bath 2.0.

YOU BETTER BE FUCKING FRIGHTENED! (alliteration).

Did you know the more you swear, the more hard you become. If you swear enough, sometimes you can cut down on your concrete milkshakes, i only had to have 4 today. (Y).

HEY, for anyone interested in tasteful music, you should check out this rad band,

There called Abandon all Ships. ;) personal favorite.

"Take a swing".

:3

Seriously, like rawr-rawr status.

I see what you did there.

School again tomorrow.

Im keen to see people again that i haven't seen in a week. No doubt half of them wont have realised i was gone but hey, at least im not centipede. FUCK YEAH!

On Facebook today regarding organising a party someone commented,

"How about we accept that this thing has been doomed since the start and give the party scene a rest, fucking alcos"

To that i say, get fucked, why say it? This person needs to be informed, THE PARTY SCENE NEVER RESTS! As soon as the party scene dies, gravity will die, do you want that? huh! YOUR NOT HITLER SO STOP TRYING TO COMMIT GENOCIDE YOU FUCK! If this was a popular blog, like world-wide, i would get people to sign a petition admitting that the party scene will never die. Then this one person would realise that McDonald's adds are fucking shit.

Fucking over this blog right now, i cant think of anything to talk about or pay out, is this writers block, or do you have to be a writer before you can get writers block, because i don't think im a writer, you need talent for that. That begs the question, when do you become a writer? Because i writing right now, but im not considered a writer. Anyone who considers themself a writer, who purely blogs and writes short stories is a poser, and thus not a writer. lulwut?

I missed Underbelly again, i actually haven't watched one episode on TV...what the fuck am i writing now, even im fucking bored and im the one writing about it. Seriously, shut the fuck up.

:#

Abandon All Ships [love]

Work Experience = finished! :)

Hey, you know how there is a mothers day, and a fathers day...WHY THE FUCK ISN'T THERE A OFFSPRING DAY?!??!?!?

I mean come the fuck on, we only get our birthday and Christmas. Rents get Birthday, Christmas and Mothers/Fathers Day. Thats not cool. I'M NOT OK WITH THAT!

I say we rise up and create a revolution. Take government control, make Australia one state, remove HSC exams and make it compulsory partying each weekend, oh and add an offspring day or some shit.

Jaz sent me this. I laughed.

Cat committed suicide and I am being blamed?

I was visiting my neighbour who stopped by my car window to chat when I pulled into their driveway. After a few minutes I pulled ahead and parked the car. My neighbour and her daughter walked over to the back of my care and I opened my car door, got out and faced them. I noticed their cat was lying very still on the driveway behind them, and then it would flip in the air, and lie still, and flip in the air, and lie still, and finally it flipped in the air and lied completely still. While the cat was jumping I said...look your cat is doing tricks. Only to realize that I had run over the poor beast and snapped its spine with my tire. The cat died as we watched. The family is blaming me for killing their cute kitty cat.

Here is my question...should I get a free pass on this cat death since it was truly an act of cat suicide when it layed in front of my car tire. If it helps any, the cat seemed to be depressed according to the family.

Additional Details

1) I did say I was sorry.

2) I would hope that someone would have noticed a toddler crawling under my tire or perhaps would have been watching their toddler to prevent the kid from parking his diaper in a dangerous way. And, what are you suggesting anyway that we do a sweep for toddlers and cats anytime we move the car?

3) I offered to get them a new cat, only not quite as flat and still breathing. They turned this down as they had many cats already.

Say hello to your beautiful world m8.

"Grandma makes pancakes the best, i check my Myspace i got a lot of friend requests, Yes!"

Sup world-negro!

Living is such a strange thing. We exist to eventually die; paradox? rhetorical question? repetition? alliteration?

Like think about it, we live our little lives, doing everything we are made to, maybe helping someone or even yourself every now and then, always striving to change the world; always out of reach, but you always knew that. You try to make a difference, maybe for the thrill, but the most you can come up with is an insignificant blog with your shit metaphors that get so fucking boring to read that you scroll to the bottom and go,"yeah, what a great blog, i wish i could right like that". YOU CAN, here is my three step program.

1. Position face over keyboard.

2. Mash face into keyboard.

3. Blog results with a question mark (?) after every unintended full stop.

There you go! A lot of non-sense that people wont really read but like anyway.

Snitches get stitches!

:%

You better not bite me you ugly cunt.

Careless Timewasting;

Everyday i seem to become a slave to this fucking computer. I need to get out. Not like out for a "duck" like cricket, but like leave the house, to move into new worlds of....oh fuck im doing it again...

FUCK YOU, YOU ENGLISH CUNT!

Note to whoever created English, you have a tiny dick and no one likes you.

I'm sorry, just jksing, your alright. Goes hard sometimes, i mean, if the dood didn't make English, how could i fail at it and write AW3SOM blogs.

AHHHHHHH! If i was a fat ranger i think i would kill myself.

I have a new inspiration, David Thorn; hes a ML. (and go look him up if you want a few lulz.)

Do you think Tasmania would mind if i sent a mob of armed pelicans into their state and take complete power? I would rename it Davetopia and work experience would be banned.

I heard curvy girls are now in. Weren't they always in. Like come on, they have what the boys want. INSIGHT!

Oh hey italics was on!

SILLY!

My blog has now been commandeered by amusing pickas...they are COMING!

Oh yeah, hes my hero... (Less than Three)

:!

CAPSLOCK